BIG DADDY LIVE header image 1

Gratitude for Our Partners, We Don’t Call Them Vendors.


Bryan's guests today are from First American Title - a dream team of sorts, Nikki Lam, Lexi Hutchings, and Beth Sando. The show started out catching up on what's been going on with Bryan for the past month and then they all gave a wonderful explanation about Title in a real estate transaction. Our co-producer, Susan Finch, said it was great to have it explained to someone NOT in the industry. The group morphed into a conversation about the importance of partnerships, rather than strictly vendor/client relationships - be invested. 

Tune in to listen to it all. 

What do the rates REALLY mean?


Welcome to another episode of Big Daddy Live. Today's guests are Morgan McGuire from Keller Williams Premiere, Ricky Silber from Compass, and Wes Shaw from Movement Mortgage. Boy did this show take some tangents.

Some of the questions answered include Is it really a better deal to wait, to try and grab a lower price? And the topic of true rates vs. advertised rates was explained by Ricky Silber, "They're only looking at APRs and the biggest problem with that is lenders are not all advertising APRs the same." They covered rate dependency, somehow Monica Lewinsky came up and those related oval office antics, In-n-Out - not related, but on to the topic of best burgers and how to order them.

OK, quote of the week you are looking for to be eligible to win the $25 Amazon Gift card is:

"Is there really something telling in the date that says that we're headed towards a recession because I have a feeling that a lot of that pressure from the Fed was more interested in propping up equity markets than it was in propping up the economy."

(Remember only one winner per venue per week - one on this site, one on Facebook. It's in a different place in both versions. After winners are announced, we'll post the full transcript.)

What does Escrow do and am I too broke to do financial planning?


You will learn a ton, even if you are already in the real estate industry. But, if you have ever bought, sold or are getting ready to buy or sell a home - this is the show for you. Also, Financial Planner, Marci Bair tells some heartwarming stories and gives great advice. Please welcome our expert pannel: Maddison Levin, brook Kane-Wootten from Foundation Escrow and Marci Bair, Bair Financial Planning.

The quote of the week that you'll have to listen for is "There are some escrow hags.". When you hear it, mark the time it is at and tell us on our FB page in the comments. We will pick the first winner here and on Facebook to find the timestamp of the quote. A different winner for each. The times are different, too.

Don’t put your finger in my donut.

Bryan's guest today is Rachel LaMar of LaMar Real Estate based in Carlsbad, California. We got off to a ranty start about food servers, delivery people and being caught on camera. It progressed to discussions about school safety and the empathy we have for kids today living with fears they should never deal with. We also covered streetlights, lions, late night and early morning calls are rarely good unless a baby is born and so much more! Tune in and catch some of the quotable moments below.

On the disgusting things people do to your food!

Bryan: This is so foul, so the delivery driver delivered it to the house, they had the ring system on and the dude literally, it shows the guy opening their cup, spitting in it, closing it and then handing the food to the consumer and I was like rawr.

Rachel LaMar: What about the girl who just a couple of weeks ago, a young woman who went into the store and ate some of the ice cream. She opened a tub of ice cream and then she ate from it and she videoed herself live on Twitter or Facebook.

Yeah, and well people are so stupid because they're on camera, especially the ones who intentionally film themselves doing something illegal.

Bryan: I don't care how famous you are, how much money you have, I don't care if you use hand sanitizer on those fingers, I don't know where those fingers have been. Do not put them in my donut. Well, you don't know where she had those fingers prior to putting them in the donut.

It was disturbing. Balls deep in salsa. (you'll have to find this story in the replay!!)

Think about your parents before you ... God, I know I'm old when I say that. You think about your parents before you pull the stupid card out. I would never do that to anyone in my family. Look, I've made some especially stupid decisions in my life, really, really, really bad ones, but they weren't filmed and they're not recorded, so like yes, the legacy maybe there or some people's memories of it, but like no - it isn't replayed as a highlight reel.

On School Shooters and our children's safety:

Bryan: Can you imagine being that young, going to school every day and it starts off in that realm like you're going to start off as a kid never feeling safe.

Ryan Alvey (the baby of the bunch): I don't remember metal detectors at schools.

Rachel LaMar: No, no.

Ryan Alvey: I don't remember being scared. I don't remember gun shootings or anything or anyone my age.

Bryan Garrity: No, but that's how childhood should be. And I'm not being some 1950's puritan, but that's how childhood should be. You should be able to go to school and start to find yourself and learn about others and not be worried about is somebody going to come and kill all my friends and my teachers and myself or whatever.

Rachel LaMar: School should be a safe place.

On hunting exotic animals for no reason:

There was a reason that lion was put away in a sanctuary. Look, they're there minding their own business in nature. That is not part of the ecosystem, some dumbass dentist from Michigan rolling into Africa and just killing for sport or killing for bounty. It's like I got a bounty for you dude, let's throw you in the clank for about a year and then see how you like it.

Bryan Garrity: Everybody's like you're animal rights advocates and you don't like guns and you're a snowflake. It's like sh*t if you think that, you don't know me. 

Rachel LaMar: Just last week, there was some children of a famous person, we'll leave it at that, online holding a beautiful, I think it was a cheetah or a leopard and just these huge grins on their faces that they had just killed on safari and yeah.

Ryan Alvey: Can you eat a cheetah? I mean, can you eat a cheetah? Is that even a thing?

Logic to fix our country: 

Bryan: Number one, so the country needs self-care. I really believe that. Am I off base? And look at the people with money and look what happens to them versus the people who have nothing.

That's so crazy.

Rachel LaMar: So, if you are famous and have money, you can usually get away with a lot of things and get a lot of things that others don't have access to, which shouldn't be. That's not fair, but that's the way this country works, unfortunately.

Bryan: ... this comes back around -  it is that disparity about you think about the people that are really struggling, that have nothing, or have families that are going paycheck to paycheck, it's like how do you close that gap and fix it? I don't know the answer.

On changing how we educate our children to they actually retain it and enjoy school:

Rachel LaMar: ...because most schools, public schools, are still taught with the teacher standing up front and lecturing to the kids and blah, blah, blah like the Charlie Brown, blah, blah, blah, go read chapter two and answer the questions at the end of the chapter.

A friend of mine wrote a great book and it's called, New School and it was all about really changing education and really combining self-study with going out into the world and learning that way with all different kinds of learning. Not just sitting in the classroom and reading this book and answering these questions, because kids are inquisitive and I've been to a local private school near me and I went into a classroom and they teach very differently at small round tables with small groups of kids and the teacher throws out a question and you see these light bulbs going off and they start ... and it's more yes, it could be a history class, but they're relating it to today and that's how we need to teach.

Bryan:  That's not always an easy thing to do, hold a room for eight hours. But I think that those models of collaborative learning, what you're talking about, endless circle, people being excited. There's something about that interaction and it not just being all about the teacher. I think it promotes a different kind of an environment for learning or growing.

On children as they talked about her book, Bennie Bear's Dream for Foster Care system and adoptive parents to help kids transition:

Rachel: You don't really think about it and there are so many foster kids, millions of foster kids in the system.

Bryan Garrity: They're lost.

Rachel LaMar: They just need love, they need a forever family.

Rachel LaMar: And so, some people want to adopt a baby and then, other people are worried about the problems they might have to face, because a lot of these kids, some of them have been traumatized, some of them have had ... you just don't know what they've been through and so it really is, it's not just ... it's more than just becoming a parent. You have to be ready to take on things that you might not take on with adopting a baby, so it's a big commitment...

From Lawyer to Realtor:

I was practicing law and then I got pregnant and then I just wasn't happy where I was and it just turned into this thing where I made the decision, but it was great, because I got to raise my kids when they were a little bit older, I had one in Kindergarten and one in preschool. I thought I need to do something, but I didn't want to go back to law at the time, because I wanted to see the first everything.

A lot of people have that story, but it obviously ... real estate's been good to me, so I can't complain.

And people think that they can ... any time the market gets great and all these people jump in thinking, "I'm going to work on the weekends and make all this money" and it's especially now like we talked about, everything, there's no easy transaction.

Ryan Alvey: I was an HGTV junkie, so I was one of those that were like oh you just show three houses and you make all this money, you work weekends. And then, obviously, you come to realize it's full time and there's a lot of work. There's a lot to it that people don't understand. It's not just throwing your sign in the yard.

Rachel LaMar: And just also, because the knowledge that you and I have is we see things from a different perspective, so it really helps our clients. Yeah, but you know, it's always I think until they make the standards to get into this business tougher, it's always going to be one of those things where people are coming in and out and constantly moving.

Bryan Garrity: Yeah, the barrier to entry's too low.


And I think somebody was trying to take me on about the barrier to entry to law versus real estate. It's vastly different worlds. You can't just enroll and do an online course and go take your real estate exam and get a license where you're dealing with people's biggest asset or assets, at the end of the day, you can tragically decimate someone's life. That part I don't understand. So you give it to somebody that's only tethered to a check, to me that's very problematic.

Be sure to subscribe here to our replays.

BK attorneys who partner with agents are a good combo!


This episode featured a lot of discussion on why you want a Real Estate agent with more than just a license. Sasha Shanner brings the added strength of a husband who is a bankruptcy attorney who helps give sound guidance when drastic changes are needed. As we know, Bryan Garrity is a JD so he brings that law background and arsenal to his clients' aid. It was a great exchange, plus the usual rants and warmth you expect from Big Daddy Live. Some of the quotable highlights are below:

Bryan: ...but I want people to understand if there was no Madonna, there would be no Britney. If there was not Britney, there'd be no Gaga. I mean, the list could go on. You have to fill me in on who the young ... like Billie what's her name?

Morgan McGuire: Eilish.

On interest rates of the past:

Sasha Shanner: Remember those stories your parents told you. I bought it when it was 18%. I have to hear it all the time. And they still bought a house, and they used it as a building block to buy another house, and they refi'd when the rates went low, and there's just a cycle of it. It's really natural.

Bryan: ... if you're in the market and you're ready, it's a great time to buy. Let me preface it by saying that. I shouldn't say it's a great time to buy, everybody go out and do it, because for some individuals it's circumstantial at the end of the day. But I think if most people stood back and looked at what they pay in rent.

On the market crash and how this group adjusted to the changes:

Sasha Shanner: With a newborn and not having a job, and then my husband who is a bankruptcy attorney, his phone starts ringing off the hook. I said I'll come help you. I know how to manage a team, I can build a little ... I'll help you basically. At that point it was just help. Just help him. He was busy. Then that turned into ten years of running his office. In the height of the bankruptcy, we were filing about 40 to 50 cases a month. We had a couple paralegals and another lawyer. We had a whole team. It was just sometimes you ride the wave, and that was what I had in front of me at the time and I made the best of it.

Bryan recalling how he got into real estate: "When everything crashed on the finance side, people were coming wanting to refinance, can you represent me for this on the litigation side? Nope, nope. I got out of that (legal industry) for a reason. However, I'm like wait a minute. There's a way to make this work. Who is negotiating these short sales? That's how it started.

Sasha Shanner: Short sales were a really good opportunity in that time. I'm doing three short sales right now. 

It's a lot of coordinating. It's not your average thing for real estate agents. For me, it's very comfortable for me, because that's the background I came from of that distrust, but I almost think that it's not harder, but if you haven't done it ... like anything.

Bryan's Rant: I hate when I call an agent ... This bugs me, and boom, you get a text like two seconds behind it. So wait? You could not have picked up that ... You texted. It's not like those custom ones. It's one that they attached on there, so you had enough time to get your little fingers and go tappy-tappy, you couldn't pick up the phone and go, "Hi, this is dumb ass. Can I help you?" I'm sorry, she's much more put together than I am this way, but I would call them dumb ass. She'd be like, yes sir or ma'am. You guys get that, right? Pick up the phone!

The other part about real estate that bothers me that some people don't understand or seem to give credit for is like this is a huge emotional component in people's lives. You will have emotions whether they be good, bad, ugly, love, anger, whatever, you've been in the house for ten years, do not tell me you're not going to have some kind of emotion rolling out of there.

Bryan's biased opinion:  I always think the tall, beautiful gals like you really make an imprint. (his guests today are in the 6 foot+ range).

Plug for a friend: A buddy of mine, we did a segment last week with Melissa Sofia, she's amazing. She's a broker of Avenue Home Collective, that's her real estate company, and she's doing a thing called Momcation. 

Mothers are supposed to mother like they don't work, and work like they don't mother. That is so true. I think that from a societal standpoint that is a true statement.

Sasha Shanner had her own rant: And a double standard. I think it's hard, too, being a realtor, because sometimes, and it could just be in my own head. 

This is a profession. I show up for work every day. I mean, I get dressed, I have a certain amount I need to make for my family, I don't take it lightly. The hard thing is sometimes, and I love all these people, but I'll have moms come up to me and go, I'm going to get my real estate license because it's a great thing when you have kids. You have so much time. You're just so free because you're a realtor. And I'm like actually it's like totally opposite. If I had a 9-to-5, I would be able to manage so much better, but when I'm trying to make dinner and negotiate a contract, tell my kids, it's hard. I think it's harder than if I were just like ... Do you know what my dream job is? Be a checker at Costco. I could just be like checkout beep, beep, beep. I'm sure I'd be bored in two days, but sometimes I'm like wow, that's just like you don't really have to think.

Bryan:  A lot of them have no idea about a myriad of things that to me is shocking. Which they have hired us to handle their biggest asset all day, and to me, that's an honor, that's a privilege. These people need to be protected. 

Sasha Shanner: I just feel like there are so many resources, so it doesn't matter how long you've been in the business it's that you're humble enough to ask for help or get the resources or have the second pair of eyes.

A reminder from Sasha on the need to set limits, boundaries with clients and their thinking everything is 911 at 3 am:

You're tired. I mean, you need fuel. If you're truly doing transaction-based real estate and you're reading contracts and you're doing negotiations and you're tracking down some agents that won't call you back, and you finally get a hold of them, and you're like getting that done,  I feel like you have to kind of know when you are your best, otherwise you make mistakes. That means refueling, shutting it down to reset.

Bryan admits: If you want more escrow, just schedule a vacation. Everything will blow up as soon as you leave town. Never fails.

Never miss an episode! Follow Big Daddy Live here on this site, or see our live shows on Facebook >


1% commission bait and switch in real estate, skunks and racism.


This episode aired live July 15, 2019. Guests included: Patrick Mercer, Jennifer Koch, Ryan Alvey, Jonathan Cohen-Kurzrock. Topics ran the full gamut from a big chunk on Real Estate and commissions to healthcare, social media, The Golden Rule, racism and back to Real Estate. For context and more laughs, you'll need to listen to the full show here. Some of the quotable moments from today's episode include these:

But no, it was a 20-pound looking skunk. That thing was massive. It must've sprayed all over all three of them. But my girl's like, "No, no, you little b*tch. You're not allowed in my backyard, you're out of here." So she killed the skunk and then this morning I was like, "Ooh, the skunky."

Jennifer Koch -  I feel like Vanna White right now the way you're saying this.
Bryan Garrity - I feel like I was Vanna getting you my darling.

"There are some that are not so fun that are in real estate and they will not be on this show. No, they will not be on this show."

On real estate agent commissions and the supposed "1% commission" bait and switch:

Once you realize your self-worth, you'll stop giving a discount. 

It needs to be more than, "Oh I just want to get the listing," but what else are you offering against those other agents? Especially if we are talking the same price commission.

It's always scary when they say, "My friend just got their license a week ago." So the nice part of me, the nice part of me is like, "We'll help your friend." The realistic part of me is like, "Run the other direction and tell them to call me in a couple of years when you get some experience. Do you want to be the guinea pig for that person?

On racism

We live in a crazy society now with Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook, where I think that this hatred, if you will, or negative talk has always been around, I just think that it wasn't able to get out there because people said it kind of behind closed doors. 

I would say in the last few years though I feel like it's heightened. I think that comes from the top, you know, Cheeto head definitely I think has a big effect on that part. Where just when you see the allowance at the highest level in the US, being able to say certain things, being able to treat people certain ways, and for a lot of cultures dog whistles that other people might not hear, but definitely dog whistles depending on who you are. The people who have those racist tendencies in everything, that's how they feel like they're allowed to come out. A dog whistle is when basically someone says something and only the people who have that belief and the people who it's against are able to hear it. So what happens is a lot of people might not realize it, like there might be 50% of people who don't realize that someone just said something racist. Except for the group that's being hit upon and the people that that person is trying to incite the racism in.

I'll tell you what's happened the last couple of years, we found out that what goes behind those closed doors is not quite all rainbows and sunshine like people thought. It's too bad.

Let's just get back to a community of respect for one another, of love for one another. People make fun of me and say, "Oh yeah, love, love, love." Yeah, yes, love all day. Why not? You want it to be hate, hate, hate? That doesn't make a sh*it of sense to me, that actually pisses me off.

That's my favorite thing to do when I get home at night though. Sit my ass on the couch, and get a Mexican Coke, and play with my puppies, and watch The View.

Well, I feel like mental health is like the healthcare system and the way it's set up, they overlook that a lot and helping people with mental illness. I have a lot of family and friends that I've seen go through that and a lot of times it seems like they're just throwing pills at them. Let's experiment with this, let's try this, let's up that, let's take that down, let's throw that in, and it doesn't really help the problem. I think they just try to brush it under the rug and forget about it. Like, "Here take some of these and have fun."

On minding your own flippin' business:

Patrick Mercer: "It's obviously difficult for people to stay in their lane..."

Bryan Garrity - "I like that. Stay in your lane, stay in your lane."

Big Daddy Live Reboot - What’s that SMELL?


Some quotable moments from this first reboot episode with our guests: Morgan McGuire, Ryan Alvey, and Jonathan Cohen-Kurzrock:

"Although I did write an offer on a house today, that was detached, super cute, tiny, $500,000. So I know people in other parts of the country are like wow. But you have to pay for that weather, there's a tax on it. I tell you what, if you were here in San Diego this year from January to June, I want a refund of some of that tax that we pay."

"Every time I take a listing, I tell the people, "I promise you, you're going to have emotions around this, you have lived in this house for 25 years, you are going to have emotions around it." If I say that to somebody who's lived in a house for five years, they'd be like, "nope, we've only been here for five years." It's like, "you're going to have emotions around it because in those five years there was a lot of living that happened." Maybe you had a baby, maybe you got married, who knows. There's a lot of things that get tied to houses, and it's an emotionally charged thing."

"Now, I don't want to get banged on. I don't want to get banged on because I'm drinking water from a plastic bottle. I understand that plastic is not good for the environment, I really do. And I'm sure our ancestors probably didn't understand it as much, and when I want my water, I want my water in this bottle. But I want it to be cold. I promise I'll put it wherever you want me to put it, but I won't throw it in the ocean."

"I'm a freak about smell. I'm not good around smell, like people that have stinky feet, like put on socks or wash them.  If you have stinky feet it's okay, just make sure you're washing them, and keep them covered up. But, I was in a hotel room with somebody, and I was like, "d*mn! What is that smell?" I thought it was the hotel. And it was a nice hotel too. I was like, "what is that?"

"People have a hard time looking you in the eye, but they don't have a hard time scrolling through your feed and liking it."

"And if I was that client, I'd b*tch slap that phone out of your hand so fast your head will spin. Just saying, that's just my two cents on it. But how do you feel about it? Really, what do you think?"

"Pick up the phone. That's something that's actually been irritating me lately because it's like, you can get a lot more out of a phone call."

and so much more. Listen to the replay and subscribe so you never miss an episode!

Podbean App

Play this podcast on Podbean App